My Blog

The Day the Earth Stood Stupid

They're not aliens, they're Earth…liens! They're not aliens, they're Earth…liens! Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush.

All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish.

You know when grown-ups tell you ‘everything’s going to be fine’ and you think they’re probably lying to make you feel better? I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! No… It’s a thing; it’s like a plan, but with more greatness. Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do!

*Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? Did I mention we have comfy chairs? I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself.

All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush.

I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. I’m nobody’s taxi service; I’m not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. You hit me with a cricket bat.

  1. Saving the world with meals on wheels.
  2. You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas?
  3. The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don’t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.
  4. It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool.

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*Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! No… It’s a thing; it’s like a plan, but with more greatness.

Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you? It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’! Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush.

Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. No… It’s a thing; it’s like a plan, but with more greatness.

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